15 AĞUSTOS 2020 Cumartesi 19:02
Öncelikle bir şeyi netleştirmek isterim. Bu dersleri size bir bir açıklayacak olsam da, yıllardır eğitimlerimde bunu bir iş olarak da yapsam, örnek olacak kadar kusursuza yakın değilim.
Belki de bu yazdıklarımda sadece hatırlatıcı cümleler aramak en doğrusu.
Sorumluluk konusunu anlatamadan önce bunları söylemek gerekirdi. Çünkü, sorumluluk çoğumuzun bildiğinin aksine yüklenmekle değil, hafiflemekle gerçekleştirilir.
Sorumluluk...
İngilizcede "Responsibility"... Etimolojik kökü Latince -respondere- ve Fransızca –responsible– ...Her iki dilde de bu kelimenin anlamı sorumluluk iken tam anlamı "cevap verebilmek"tir.
"Sorumluluk" kelimesinin eşanlamlısı "mesuliyet" ile "mesele" kelimesine bağlanır.
Yani sorumluluk bir mesele, durum, olay anlamlarıyla da ilişkilidir. Birçok etimolojik kaynakla karşınıza çıkabilirim ki "sorumluluk" kelimesinin bize anlatmaya çalıştığı şey "yük" değildir.
Sorumluluk belirli bir olay içinde en doğru soruyu sorabilmek ve buna dürüstlükle cevap verebilmektir.
Eğer başta ağrı/ağırlık, omuzlarda düşme, bel fıtığı, kifoz, kambur, kalpte sıkışma, bağımlılık (İçki, Alkol, Uyuşturucu, Yemek, Uyku, Seks, Tv)...
O zaman gerçek anlamda sorumluluk almıyor olabiliriz.
Birkaçınızı kızdırdıysam kusura bakmayın. Okuma oranlarının düştüğü şu zamanlarda mesajı en kısa yolla vermeye çalışınca usul de ona göre oluyor. Gerçek şu ki sorumluluk değil, yük aldık ve haklıydık.
Bence de herkes her zaman haklıdır. HAKlıdır. Sadece belirli bir olayda ve zamanda biri diğerinden daha haklı olabilir. Hakikate en yakın olan kazanır. Burada kimin doğru ya da yanlış olduğu değil, en doğruyu bulmaya meraklı ve heyecanlı insanlar olarak sürekli en saf doğruya götürecek yanlışlara bakmak gerekiyor.
Daha da haklı olmak için ne yapabiliriz?
Allah aşkına daha az haklı çıkmaya çalışalım. Daha az haklı gözüksek ve daha çok mutlu olsak? Bazen hayat öyle durumlar yaşatır ki haklı olmak mutsuz ederken mutlu olmak sonunda haklı hissettirir. Sadece diğerinden daha haklı değil. Diğeri ile farklı haklılıklar. Orta yolu bulmak bazen gerçek bir sessizlikle çözülebilir. Bazen de dünyayı bırakıp ötesine bakmakla “boş verme” adı altında önemli olanı görmekle... Bazen de kendini kanıtlama arzunun sana vereceği tatmindense başkasının onaylanmasına izin vermenin mutlu haksızlığı ile... Bir çocuğun hayallerinin yok etmemek için onun oyununa dahil olmak gibi...
Anneler, daha az "anne" olalım. "Anne"liği marka edinmiş tarafımıza lafım. Çocuğunuza, öğrencinize, kardeşinize, sevgilinize, ailenize daha az "anne" olalım. Anneliğin ilk dersi önce kendi bedensel, zihinsel ve ruhsal sağlığına bakmaktır.
Babalar, "baba" olmuş anneler, kendine "babalık" edenler... Daha çok çocuk olalım. Toy, şımarık ya da cahil değil... Olgun, bilge, mütevazı ve en çok da neşeli...
Oyun oynayalım. Oyun her insanın öğrenme, iletişim ve hayal gücü için ihtiyacıdır ve bunlar her gün çokça kullanmak gereken yeteneklerimiz.
Sorumluluk doğru soruları sormaktır. Bir bilim insanı gibi kendine aklınla bakıp, tarafsızca görebilmektir. Hatana hata, doğruna doğru demeden sadece gerçeklerle kendini uzaktan süzmekle kendini en baştan ve yeniden, yeniden, yeniden tanıyabilmektir.
Evet, biliyorum. Gerçek sorumluluk, yüklendiren sorumluluktan daha zor. Çok zor ki bazen bunu bildiğime kızıyorum. Unutamıyorum çünkü. Görmezden gelemiyorum üstümden bırakamadığım yüklerimi. Ama Korona yeterince yordu. Yeniden düşündürdü. Yeniden sordurdu. Hayat belki aynı kaldı ama her şeyin yolu, yordamı değişti. İşleri sorgulattı. İlişkileri sorgulattı. Bunların da hepsini bizi bize yakınlaştırmak adına hareket alanını kısıtlayarak yaptı. Mesajı “Dur” idi. Köklen. Sorumluluk ilk ilk ilk önce köklenmekle başlar. Köksüz bir büyümeyi bırak, ayakta bile kalamaz. İşte Korona'nın birinci derdi buydu. Sorumluluk: "Dur, bak, sor, dinle, uzanılmamış yerlere uzat kollarını ve köklerini, yaşama daha sıkı tutun, bağışıklığını arttır ki dalların dokuzuncu dersin sonunda güneşe uzanacak." Hazır olanlar için... Şimdi gerçek işlerin vaktidir.
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